


Secret Santa

by LastHope



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Excessive use of the word fuck, False Assumptions, Gen, Gift Fic, Implied Relationships, Raijin Days, Secret Santa, Secret Santa 2016, little kids swearing, one-sided relationships, unrequited crushes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 05:38:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9108892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LastHope/pseuds/LastHope
Summary: The Second Years at Raijin High School decide to do a Secret Santa Gift Exchange for Christmas. As Shizuo finds out, Secret Santa Gift Exchanges are not as easy as they seem.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jackinthejukebox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackinthejukebox/gifts).



> Merry Christmas everyone! I know this is four days late to Ao3, but I promise this was posted originally to tumblr on Christmas! This was written for @jackinthejukebox on tumblr for the DRRR Secret Santa 2016. (If you have a tumblr or just want to check out some really good art, definitely check out their tumblr jackinthejukebox.tumblr.com)
> 
> May everyone have had a better time with any Secret Santa endeavors they were involved with than poor Shizuo.

“The Second Years this year have decided to do a Secret Santa between classes 2-A, 2-B, and 2-C.” The male classroom representative announces from the front of the room. “We have names from all three classes split between baskets, and you will take one when the basket comes to you. Price limits on gifts is 1200¥, or within that range. You’ll need to bring in the gift the last day of classes before the holiday.”

“Remember, because it is a Secret Santa, you can’t tell anyone who you have!” The female representative reminds them cheerfully. “On the last day of classes we’ll have baskets outside of each classroom, and you can simply drop off the gift before homeroom. The gifts will be passed out at the end of the day by the class representatives.”

The representatives don’t ask if there are questions, and no one in the class asks any. The basket is handed off to the first student in the row, and it begins its trip around the classroom. By the time the basket reaches Shizuo in his corner of the classroom, there aren’t that many names left.

As Shizuo takes a name from the basket, he wonders who it’ll be. If he’s lucky, it’ll be someone from his class, who he can sort of figure something out for. If he’s unlucky, it’ll be someone from one of the other classes, or worse.

Name taken, the basket goes to the next student. Shizuo takes a deep breath, and tells himself he can’t get mad at whoever he gets. There’s no trading, and because who he has is supposed to be a secret, he absolutely cannot give any tells to who he has. So he braces himself and looks at the name of the student he’s shopping for.

And, well, if Shizuo _does_ crack his desk again, it’s not noticeable, right? And he didn’t _exactly_ give away who he has. After all, there are a lot of students in their year that piss him off. It could be anybody.

* * *

“Hey! Shizuo!” Shinra’s calling him as he’s leaving for the day. Today’s a lucky day – Shizuo doesn’t have to stay after school for detention, and he doesn’t have any community service that day either.

Shizuo turns to face Shinra with slight reluctance, not wanting to deal with Shinra’s boisterous attitude at the moment. Really, all he wants to do is go home and put his secret Santa person out of his mind.

“What is it Shinra?” He says instead of telling him to piss off. Even if he told Shinra to leave him alone, Shinra wouldn’t. After being what could loosely be referred to as friends since elementary school, Shizuo has learned there is no way of getting rid of Shinra until Shinra wants to leave.

“I heard about who you got for our class’s gift exchange!” Shinra chirps cheerily, walking beside Shizuo as they leave the school grounds together. Shizuo freezes for the barest of moments, before continuing on. “And I was willing to give you some gift ideas if you needed them! Which of course you do! I mean, of course, if you’re actually going to get them a gift at all.”

“What the fuck do you mean?” Shizuo growls before he can stop himself. “Of course I’m going to get them a fucking gift, that’s the whole point.”

“Well, yeah.” Shinra blinks, taken aback like Shizuo’s statement confused him, before shrugging and rolling with it. “I just figured that because of who you picked, you wouldn’t want to get a gift.”

“You don’t know who I picked.” Shizuo says, though the statement falls flat, as if he’s unsure whether Shinra really knows who he has or not.

“Yeah, yeah! Whatever you say, Shizuo-kun.” Shinra waves him off, like he’s dismissing the conversation as well. “Still! If you need gift ideas, he’s been really into mythology lately, especially Nordic. Good thing it’s not Celtic, or I’d think he’d be after my darling Celty!”

Shizuo grumbles, and then is happy that they’ve reached the street where the paths separate, because it means he doesn’t have to hear Shinra rave about his maybe-fake-maybe-not girlfriend for the third time that day.

‘Mythology books’. Hah. What a laugh. He doesn’t need help finding a gift for his secret Santa.

Shinra doesn’t even know who he has anyways.

* * *

Shizuo had told himself he would get the shopping for his secret Santa out of the way immediately, before too much time had passed. Ideally, he had wanted to get the shopping out of the way by the 13th.

Realistically, this unfortunately did not happen.

Which is why he’s at the mall, the day before they’re supposed to take in their gifts, trying to find something, _anything_ , for his secret Santa.

Of course, thankfully, this is the most stress he’s encountered all week, considering that his biggest source of stress hasn’t been in school for some reason. Not that Shizuo cares, but it is suspicious. He might have to track him down at some point during break to see what he’s been up to. Nothing good, undoubtedly.

Shizuo is perusing the bookstore in hopes of inspiration (he is not taking Shinra’s advice, Shinra’s advice was stupid, besides Shinra doesn’t know who he has) when he runs into the flea bastard.

“Ah, Shizu-chan!” The asshole greets with a shit-eating grin. “I would have never expected to see you here. After all, doesn’t one need a basic level of reading to understand books? Oh, or are you after some picture books? That’s probably the highest level your protozoan brain can understand anyways.”

“Izaya-kun.” Shizuo growls in response, clenching his fingers tight into a fist. They’re in a bookstore, he tells himself as he does his best to restrain his anger. He can’t cause any property damage this close to Christmas or his mom will get upset. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Such foul language!” He admonishes instead of answering the question. “Mind the children, Shizu-chan! Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to swear around impressionable kids?”

“What the _fuck_ are you talking about?” Shizuo swears again, because he can, and because, “I don’t see any damn kids.”

Then, a smaller voice pops up.

“What does fuck mean, Iza-nii?” It’s followed by another voice quickly and excitedly chanting,

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

Standing with the bastard are two little kids, wearing matching outfits and hats – one with an M and the other with a K on it. They also are wearing little backpacks, both of which have leashes leading from them up to where Izaya’s holding them.

Izaya sighs, like Shizuo’s the one who’s personally offended him this time instead of Izaya’s mere existence offending everyone alive.

“Meet my sisters, Shizu-chan.” Izaya introduces. “Mairu,” He indicates to the kid wearing the hat with the K, who’s still chanting fuck like no tomorrow, “and Kururi.” He indicates to the kid wearing the hat with the M on it.

“Nuh-uh!” Mairu denies, stopping her chanting to point to the hat she’s wearing. “I’m Kururi, Iza-nii!”

“And I’m Mairu.” Kururi nods in agreement, or whatever their names are. Shizuo doesn’t really care.

“Whatever you say.” Izaya waves them off without humoring them. “They’re identical twins, so who knows. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe Mom and Dad mixed them up at birth and we’ll never know who’s really who.”

“That’s awful asshole.” Shizuo snaps at Izaya. “You can’t just say something like that to your sisters.”

“Might as well start the existential crisis early.” Izaya shrugs nonchalantly in response. “They were going to come up with it one day, no harm breaking it sooner rather than later.”

The twins are just staring at the two of them, watching the back and forth banter of the two teens.

Eventually, one of them – Shizuo doesn’t remember nor does he care – interrupts, tugging at Izaya’s shirt sleeve.

“Iza-nii,” She whines. “I thought you said you were going to take us to see Santa!”

And it must be Kukuri, or whatever the K sibling’s name is, because the other girl starts chanting “Santa!” over and over again like that will hurry them up.

“Well I must get going,” Izaya says as if taking his sisters to see Santa is a chore. He starts to leave, the twins bouncing along ahead of him. Then, the asshole calls back, “You must get me the name of your trainer, Shizu-chan! This is the longest I’ve seen you go without breaking anything!”

And, okay, yeah, he might’ve flipped the entire table of Teen Bestsellers. But only the table was damaged! None of the books. That Narita book totally had a bent cover before Shizuo flipped the table. Definitely.

* * *

[ _Heiwajima Shizuo: what do you get someone for christmas?_ ]

[ _Celty Sturluson: What do they like? That’s always a good place to start!_ ]

[ _Heiwajima Shizuo: i don’t know._ ]

[ _Celty Sturluson: Who’s it for?_ ]

[ _Heiwajima Shizuo: it’s for our class’s secret santa exchange_ ]

[ _Heiwajima Shizuo: i can’t say who it’s for. it’s not in the spirit of things if i do._ ]

[ _Celty Sturluson: Ah._ ]

[ _Celty Sturluson: Well, candy’s always a good fall back!_ ]

[ _Celty Sturluson: If it’s a girl, a stuffed animal probably couldn’t hurt either!_ ]

[ _Heiwajima Shizuo: …_ ]

[ _Heiwajima Shizuo: you’re getting shinra candy again aren’t you_ ]

[ _Celty Sturluson: !!!_ ]

[ _Celty Sturluson: N-No!_ ]

[ _Celty Sturluson: What would give you that idea?!_ ]

[ _Heiwajima Shizuo: no reason_ ]

[ _Heiwajima Shizuo: even if you gave shinra candy for the umpteenth time in a row he’ll love it celty_ ]

[ _Heiwajima Shizuo: he’s weird like that_ ]

* * *

Shopping is _hard._ Especially for someone you barely know. Shizuo makes three laps around the mall, getting more and more frazzled with each loop, as he wracks and wracks his brain for gift ideas. Time is ticking down, and he can’t help but get more and more frustrated with each lap he makes.

It’s the fourth or fifth lap, and he’s infinitely more frustrated than he was on the fourth lap, when he runs into Izaya again, this time down one small child. He doesn’t look panicked, per se, but there is a definite edge of composure that has been lost that Shizuo is used to seeing on the other teen.

“Mairu!” He’s calling out as he drags the other girl by the hand down the strip. “Mairu! Where are you?”

Not looking where he’s going, the asshole fucking runs into Shizuo.

“What?” Izaya says after he runs into Shizuo, confused when he hits the equivalent of a brick wall. Then, like it’s _Shizuo’s fault_ , the flea has the audacity to accuse him, “Watch where you’re going Shizu-chan.”

Izaya attempts to brush past Shizuo with his sister, but Shizuo catches him by the wrist before he can leave.

“You should be the one watching where they’re going Izaya-kun.” Shizuo drags out the flea’s name, lifting up his fist instinctively to punch him in his smartass mouth. “Don’t you think you should be apologizing to me?”

“Apologize? For what?” Izaya tugs at the grip Shizuo has on his arm, but can’t break free. “I have nothing to apologize for. And, if you’ll excuse me, I am in the middle of something important.”

Shizuo’s about to say something back, maybe something like yeah, the flea’s in the middle of something – the middle of getting punched – but someone else jumps into the conversation.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Shizuo and Izaya crane their heads behind them to be greeted by none other than,

“Ah, Shishizaki-senpai!” Izaya crows, almost happily. “What a coincidence running into you here!”

“It’s not school hours,” Shishizaki ignores Izaya for his own lamentation instead. “Do I seriously have to be separating you in public too? I’m not your mother.”

Both of them are about to say something, but Shishizaki cuts them off.

“Whatever. I don’t care about your reasons.” He waves his hand to silence them. “I was just looking for Izaya anyway. Got something you lost.”

And the third-year pushes a small girl towards Izaya and Shizuo.

“Kuru-nee! Iza-nii!” She whines, throwing her arms around her sister.

“Don’t know how she got lost, don’t care how she got lost.” Shishizaki says. “Keep a better eye on your siblings next time.” He eyes Izaya and Shizuo before suggesting, “Better yet, why don’t you just leave already. Best way not to lose them again. And if you do, they won’t be my problem.”

“Well, if Shishizaki-senpai says so, then I suppose I have no choice but to listen.” Izaya shrugs, speaking as though he has no choice in the matter – which really, Shizuo knows, either of them could be petty to stick here, and Shizuo is feeling petty enough to do so. But Shishizaki coughs and gives him a pointed look.

“Look,” He informs Shizuo when he still hasn’t released the flea. “I don’t care what you two do in your free time. If you want to beat him up on your own time, so be it. All I’m saying is at least have the decency not to do so in front of his sisters. They’re too young to watch you beat their brother to a pulp. Wait five years, at least then they’ll be able to find entertainment in it.”

“Harsh.” But there’s no real offense in Izaya’s tone when he speaks up.

Reluctantly, Shizuo releases the flea, who releases his sister’s hand long enough to rub at his wrist as if Shizuo has done any real damage to it, then he grabs both girls hands and starts hauling them towards the mall exit.

As they go, Shizuo and Shishizaki can hear Mairu crowing,

“Shishi-nii is so amazing Iza-nii!”

“Yeah, yeah, you can tell me about it later.” Izaya responds sarcastically. “First, understand that if you ever run off like that again you’re getting grounded for a week.”

“Boo!!”

And then they’re gone.

Shishizaki is still there, and Shizuo knows that a secret Santa gift is supposed to be, well, a secret, but he _is_ desperate for ideas. Celty didn’t really pan out, and there’s _no way_ he’s taking any advice Shinra gives him. Besides, it’s not like Shishizaki is in his year, so he can’t tell whoever he has what he’s getting them.

So, he bites the bullet and asks.

“Um, Shishizaki-senpai?” He asks before the upper year can leave. “Can I get your help with something?”

“Depends.” Shishizaki says hesitantly. “If you’re asking for help beating up Izaya, as much as I’d like to I can’t help with that.”

“No. Um, our year is doing a secret Santa gift exchange, and I wanted to ask you for help for gift ideas.” It’s a stretch, but Shishizaki might be the best person for him to ask.

“I can try?” Shishizaki replies, not very confidently. “I don’t know many of the kids in your year, but I can make an attempt.”

“I think you might know this one.”

And Shizuo tells him.

And Shishizaki’s eyes light up.

“I think I know the best gift.” He tells Shizuo.

* * *

His wrapping of the gift isn’t great, especially because he refused to let his mom just wrap the gift for him. Shizuo did let her walk him through how to wrap gifts a few times, watching like a hawk as she wrapped some of Kasuka’s gifts to demonstrate. He even practiced a few times on things like his textbooks before wrapping the actual gift.

Still, at least the gift is wrapped, and it doesn’t look like a completely failure when he drops it off in the basket outside of the classroom as he heads to homeroom. Everyone’s abuzz about the gift exchange, and the class representatives have had to shoo a couple lurkers away from the baskets when some students had tried to sneak glances to see who had who.

Once the gifts are turned in and class starts, so starts the long wait to the end of the day for the students to see what they received. The anticipation of the gifts, not to mention that it’s the last school day before break, seems to make the time pass even more slowly than usual. It seems to take twice as long for the bell to ring to dismiss students to lunch than it normally does.

“I thought we were supposed to turn in the Secret Santa gifts before homeroom?” Shizuo asks Shinra, when he sees the other student pull a wrapped gift out of his desk.

“I did!” Shinra cheerily informs Shizuo. “It’s just that Izaya and I exchange Christmas gifts too, so this one’s for him!”

“You’re joking.” Shizuo says flatly, and Shinra merely blinks at him in confusion.

“No?” He says, pausing in thought for a moment before coming to the conclusion, “Oh! I’m sorry, I never even thought to ask if you wanted to join in our gift exchange.”

Of course, that’s not what Shizuo’s upset about, but Shinra has always been one to miss the point of things.

“Happy Christmas.” The flea interrupts whatever Shizuo would have wanted to say by announcing his presence by dropping a gift wrapped in snowman paper on Shinra’s desk. There’s three candy canes taped to the gift, and at least a dozen more poorly drawn ones littering the wrapping put in the ballpark of the snowmen’s stick hands.

Seeing Shizuo and Shinra’s bewildered looks at the gift, Izaya unnecessarily elaborates, “My sisters insisted on helping to wrap it.”

“I can see!” Shinra agrees, picking up the gift and flipping it over in his hands, inspecting it. “How old are they again?”

“Five.” Izaya says, like five is the most terrible age to be. “Six in February.” Shinra nods absently like he was listening to Izaya but Shizuo’s pretty sure he isn’t listening at all. Izaya swipes his gift off the desk and makes his exit before Shizuo can so much as raise his voice at him.

“Later Shinra, Shizu-chan.” Izaya bids farewell to them and is gone to wherever he lurks for lunch on the daily.

After lunch, the rest of the day passes as slowly as the morning. Each class is torture as the clock ticks ever nearer to the anticipated gift swapping and release for break.

Then, at last, the final bell rings and the class representatives announce they’ll be passing out gifts. As they split the gifts and get ready to pass them out, they tell the students to wait until everyone has a gift before they open theirs. Then, the representatives each pass out half the gifts to the class. It’s the female representative – Shizuo can never remember her name – that hands him his gift, giving him a shy smile.

“Happy Christmas, Heiwajima-kun.” She tells him, setting the gift on his desk before hurrying to the next student.

“Happy Christmas.” He says back even though she’s gone, and inspects the gift. Shizuo wants to shake it, to get an idea of what’s inside, but he’s afraid that if it’s something fragile it might break. And then he thinks, who the hell would give _him_ something breakable. Still, he doesn’t shake it for the one-percent chance that whoever was his secret Santa did.

As the representatives finish passing out the gifts, the male representative from one of the other classes hurries in and starts whispering to the representatives. They all are frowning, and Shizuo wonders what’s going on.

“Did anyone not turn in a Secret Santa gift?” The male representative addresses the class. Everyone in the class turns and mutters to one another, shrugging, but no one raises their hand to identify themselves as the one who didn’t hand in a gift.

“Please,” The female representative asks. “If you forgot, or didn’t have the money to spend, that’s fine, but please come forward if you didn’t hand in a gift. We currently have a student in one of the other classes who hasn’t received a gift.”

Still, no one comes forward, so the representatives shake their heads, and the other class’s representative disappears, probably to meet up with the other class, or his fellow representative.

“All right!” The female representative of Shizuo’s class says with as much cheeriness as one can after finding out one of the students did not receive a gift. “You may open your gifts now!”

Shizuo looks at the nice wrapping on his gift, and wonders if it was the female class representative who had gotten it for him. She had seemed like she was nervous giving it to him, but a lot of the female students are nervous around him... Still, he takes much more care unwrapping his gift than his fellow classmates. His mother has always told him and Kasuka to be careful unwrapping gifts so they can reuse the paper, and Shizuo isn’t about to stop that simply because she isn’t here. Not only that, but because he's fairly certain that it was the female class representative who got him the gift, and he doesn't want to damage her precise wrapping of his gift. He carefully peels off the tape holding the candy cane on the wrapping, before undoing the tape at the edges.

Under the snowman wrapping paper is a box, and in the box are several different stress balls of all shapes and sizes. Some are shaped as animals, some are solid colors. There’s even a cow one, that’s rocking back and forth as he pulls the stress balls out to look at them. It’s a thoughtful gift, even though in Shizuo’s past experience he’s torn through all stress balls he’s tried using before.

Still, he can set these aside as one of the most thoughtful gifts he’s gotten from someone who’s not his family.

* * *

“Wow! I didn’t think you’d actually go through with it!” Shinra accosts him as soon as he’s through the school gates.

“What are you talking about now Shinra?” Shizuo sighs. He just wants to get home and enjoy his break. If he’s lucky, he can turn on the kotatsu and enjoy some enka on the TV for a little while until his mom gets home.

“You know, not getting Izaya a gift!” Shinra chirps. “Seeing as you had his name, and he’s the only one out of the entire second year that didn’t receive a gift!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Shizuo snaps. “I didn’t have the flea’s name.”

“Of course you did!” Shinra insists. “Why else wouldn’t he get a gift?”

“How should I know?” Shizuo clenches his hand in a fist and resists the urge to deck Shinra in the face. “I didn’t have him.”

“Then who did you have?” Shinra retaliates, tone disbelieving. He’s fully convinced himself that Shizuo had Izaya’s name.

“Sharaku-chan’s.” Shizuo says immediately. “You know, the girl who’s in the martial arts club with Shishizaki-senpai? I think her name is Mika-something.”

“Oh really?” Shinra still seems skeptical. “What did you get her then?”

“The autobiography of some martial artist she likes,” Shizuo throws his hands up in exasperation. “And no, I don’t remember the name. Shishizaki-senpai helped me pick it out last night.”

“Uh-huh.” Shinra nods, and yes, it is obvious that he still does not believe Shizuo, but Shizuo is giving up. There’s no point in trying to convince Shinra that he didn’t have the flea’s name when Shinra’s convince that he did. Shinra tilts his head to the side and says rather uncaringly, “Incoming.”

It’s the only warning before something wet, cold, and hard slams into the back of his head. With a roar, Shizuo whips around, furious, looking for what asshole threw something at him. There’s not enough snow on the ground for it to be a proper snowball, but a touch at the back of the neck confirms that someone was immature enough to throw a mudball at him.

And not just _anyone_. Standing across from him, just down the sidewalk, is none other than Izaya, red-faced with an out-of-character look of fury on his face. Reaching down, Izaya picks up another mudball and chucks it at Shizuo. This time, Shizuo tilts his head out of the way, and hears the distressed cry of Shinra getting hit in the face with it instead.

Izaya turns and flees, obviously intent on having Shizuo chase him.

And, well, if Shizuo doesn’t chase after the flea, it’s simply because he wants to get home. Not because he feels bad for the flea.

* * *

**_Extra:_ **

**10 years later:**

Shizuo-san opens the door after Mairu and Kururi have been knocking on it for at least 45 minutes. They had arrived at Shizuo’s apartment immediately after school, intent on asking this specific favor of him. The twins had even checked with his boss to find out if he had work today or not! (Which he didn’t, which means Shizuo has been an absolute jerk, making them freeze out in the cold like this!)

“What the hell do you want?” Shizuo demands as he all but throws open the door, glaring down at them.

“We need you to do something for us!” Mairu informs him cheerfully.

“Something.” Kururi nods in agreement. While Shizuo is busy glaring down at them, the twins invite themselves into his apartment, sliding past him with the same ease that they do to their brother when they visit Izaya.

“And what’s that?” Shizuo sighs, turning to face the twins as they plop themselves down onto his couch as if they live there. “If it’s about my brother you brats can just scram already.”

“We need you to buy wine for us!” Mairu says, kicking the bottom of the couch, leaning backwards to check out as much of Shizuo’s apartment before he inevitably kicks them out.

“Wine.” Kururi echoes, checking out the apartment as well. Her eyes catch something and she elbows Mairu in the side, nodding towards something. Shizuo, so oblivious as he is, doesn’t notice it.

“Why the hell would I buy wine for you?” Shizuo asks. “I don’t know the kinda crowd you girls hang out with, but I don’t supply alcohol for minors. Find someone else.”

“Please?” Mairu whines, dragging it out annoyingly long. “Kuru-nee and I aren’t actually gonna drink it! We just wanna get it for Iza-nii for Christmas!”

“Well.” Shizuo says, cracking his knuckles. “When you put it that way…”

For a moment, Mairu thinks that’s changed Shizuo’s mind.

Until he has both twins by the hood and is depositing them outside.

“Your brother can rot in hell for all I care.” And he slams the door behind him.

“Well that was a bust!” Mairu kicks the dirt outside Shizuo’s apartment complex.

“Shinra?” Kururi suggests, and Mairu sighs and throws her hands up in the air.

“Well why not! Either him or Celty should be willing to do so.” She grabs Kururi by the arm and they start down the street. “Or that guy who wears a gas mask who hangs around his place.”

The twins share a look, and then shake their heads in unison.

“Kidnapper.” Kururi states simply.

“Yeah, you’re right, he does look like a kidnapper! So maybe not him.”

As they reach the crossing, and are a block away from Shizuo’s apartment, Mairu busts into raucous laughter, Kururi giggling next to her.

“I can’t believe he still has that cow!” Mairu howls, bent over, tears in her eyes.

“Know?” Kururi manages over her giggles.

“Do you really think if he knew Iza-nii got him those he’d still have it?!”

“No!”

And the girls keep laughing all the way to Shinra’s apartment.

* * *

 


End file.
